MOVING ON AFTER A DIVORCE

5 helpful tips to move you forward

A divorce or breakup can be one of the most painful experiences in life. In fact, clinical observation has suggested that adults experience divorce as an event that is traumatic[1]. So much so that the aftermath of the event in the first year following a separation or a divorce is compared to the devastation of a natural disaster. Moving on after a divorce or breakup can be tough, but doing so is essential for your mental health and wellbeing. Here are five tips that we thought of at Georgia Family and Mediation, that we think might be helpful to you as you get on the road to recovery:

Allow yourself to grieve: Grief is a natural emotion that one might feel following the loss of a spouse to a divorce. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and process them in your own time. Acknowledge your pain and allow yourself to experience it. Some may find journaling their thoughts and documenting their emotions during this time to be very helpful. Do not run away from your emotions. Instead, embrace them.

Focus on self-care: It is possible that the pain of your divorce has caused you to abandon self-care. If this is the case, it is time to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Self-care can help you feel more positive and can help to reduce stress.

Surround yourself with support: Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. You do not have to go through the pain, guilt, or shame alone. You may find it helpful to lean on people who have the capacity to listen and offer support during this difficult time.

Let go of the past: Holding onto the past can keep you stuck in pain and that is not where you want to make your bed. To move forward, you will first have to accept that the relationship is over. This is not an easy process, especially when children are involved. Letting go of the past relationship, however, can help you move on and will allow you to start creating a new future for yourself.

Practice forgiveness: Forgiving calls for an entire lesson and is a process by itself. It is not always the first thing anyone wants to do following a divorce or breakup, however. Forgiving your ex-partner can help you let go of anger and resentment. Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to forget what happened, but it can help you release negative emotions and move on. Sometimes the person who you will have to forgive is yourself.

There are plenty of other tips that you may come across that may be helpful to you as you move on after your divorce. You should know that moving on takes time, so be patient with yourself. Healing doesn't happen overnight, but with time, you can learn to accept the past and move forward with a new sense of hope.

References

[1] Dreman, S., (1990). Coping with the trauma of divorce. Journal of Traumatic Stress. Vol. 4. No. 1, 1991.